OverThere's Reviews - Karnov(NES)

Karnov is a weird little game. Well, it seems weird to me that a huge, hulking
fat bloke gets his own game. And yes, I get the irony there, Mario's a fat guy too,
but compare Mario and Karnov. Mario may be fat, but he has unmatched jumping prowess.
Karnov is just a fat guy that jumps like a fish out of water. I'm sorry, this may seem
off topic here, but Karnov as a character just doesn't capture my imagination in the
same way as a Link or a Sora or a Tidus. So, surely, this game must have a saving
grace other than a fat guy with too many rolls of flesh? *shudders*

Karnov is a game that seems like a strange hybrid of Battle Kid and Golden Axe, in
that it's set in a medieval age, but has you navigating around the stage using all of
your weapons to get by. This is okay in theory, but mix this in with game mechanics
that are utterly broken beyond comprehension, and they you go: Karnov.

First of all, you know how if you defeat an enemy in an od game, left the screen
and came back, it would instantly respawn? Well, those nice fellas at Data East took
it one step further. If you kill an enemy, they respawn two seconds later even if
you're on the same screen. How is this a problem? Well, that's not all... There are
usually two enemies that assault you from both sides. Fine in theory(I like challenge)
but it's very annoying when your assaulted from both sides, you manage to kill one
enemy, and you get screwed at the last second by the enemy you didn't concentrate.
Not fine in theory. Yes, I know that this isn't a huge gamechanger, but it really
doesn't set a good impression for the rest of the game. But, I digress, so let's
move on.

The one thing that struck me the most while playing Karnov was, like I said before,
how it was like Bittle Kid/Mega Man, however, it's a lot slower paced. Karnov moves
like he has to take a dump, and this really puts a dampener on the Mega Man style,
and also the fun. Karnov fails to move properly, which removes any sort of strategy
from the game, leaving you to navigate the ground, not the platforms, which would
make the game easier and more fun, but unfortunately, because we're forced to walk the
ground like a fucking hobo, leaving us open to all the gangbanging enemies that want
you dead.This pretty much eliminates any fun that would been in the equation. This
sort of makes Karnov user-unfriendly, but if you're a good enough gamer, you actually
may find an enjoyable game here.

Another point on Karnov that really grinds my gears is that you are capable of dying
in two hits. Fine in theory, but really not so when the game's IA is fundamentally
broken, which means to get anyway in the game, you have to pump the A button like
a junkie scrambling for coke, or just hold A on an NES Advantage while you waltz
through the level. Neither are fun. So here's the choice. You can either pretty much
get sodomised in the game by the crappily-programmed enemies, you can end up with a
bleeding thumb, or you can just hold A on the NES Advantage while you go right,
complaining how boring the game is. Difficulty is one thing, but not being able to
progress at all due to shoddy programming? Nuh-uh. No way, Data East.

Do you like listening to the same piece of music over and over? Well, you're gonna
love Karnov's soundtrack. You can listen to the same track over and over throughout
all the levels! Sound exciting to you? Well, you're flinging flanging right it's
exciting! Now, with all due respect, the track that you hear is kind of cute and
catchy. But you know what else is catchy? Rabies. You will enjoy the music for about
ten minutes, and then you will absolutely grow to hate it with all your might. This is
easily remedied though. Mute the tv, pop your iPod into its dock or charging station,
turn that shit up and you're good to go.

Let's get something straight right now. Karnov is not a good looking game. It's bland,
tasteless, and has a little too much yellow in it. The backgrounds and elements in
the game just lack any imagination, or colour for that matter. It's basically the
effect of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers shitting on World 1-1, with a gaussian blur
effect for good measure. Safe to say: it doesn't look good. Come on, Data East! The
NES was capable of 52 colours! You wanna try using the other 49?!

As I said at the start, Karnov's a weird little game, and now I know why. Karnov
desperately wants to be Megaman, but unfortunately, the game has no charm, and
ultimately lets the whole package down, which is a huge shame, because Karnov could
have been so much better if they'd spent a little more time making the AI competent,
and not so dependent on those crappy weapons of theirs.

OverThere's Final Cut

This is my final opinion on Karnov. Karnov is a bit of a diamond in the rough. It has
decent gameplay if you look past the stupid AI, and actually can retain some
enjoyability despite the fugly graphics and its one trick pony soundtrack. I hate to
be a graphics whore, but if the graphics here were at least palatable, and the AI
weren't fucking gimps, this would undoubtedly be a hidden gem of the 8-bit era. It's
not, however, and we've got to look at this for what it is. It's an okay game let down
by the other qualities the game has, and if they'd have spent a little more time on
those, everything would have been excellent. So, with that said, my score for the game
is a mediocre 55 out of a 100. It's okay if you're A; a masochist, or B; just a person
with a lot of patience.

CJ Reviews Season 2

Season 2 of CJ Reviews.

Episode 1- Sony Pocketstation

CJ Reviews #1- Sony PocketStation

In the new season, CJ comes back with a new show name and a review on Sony's first jaunt into the handheld market.

CJ's Gaming Treasures Season 1

The full list of episodes for ClumsyJohan's Gaming Treasures, Season 1

Episode #1- Advanced VG
Episode #2- Call Of Duty Retrospective
Episode #3- Stargate
Episode #4- Sony PSX
Episode #5- Jackass The Game
Episode #6- ATgames SEGA Mega Drive
Episode #7- Sony PSX Part 2
Episode #8- Wii Hunting Challenge

CJ's Gaming Treasures #8- Wii Hunting Challenge

In this episode, CJ looks at a hunting game. FOR TEH WII.

ClumsyJohan's Gaming Treasures #7- Sony PSX

In the new review, CJ finishes up some of his unfinished business.

ClumsyJohan's Gaming Treasures #6- ATgames Sega Megadrive

In the sixth episode of PSG's most prominent series, Clumsy takes a look at a (gasp) brand new Mega Drive. What would SEGA think? What? They gave them permission?!